There is nothing I hate more than waking up ALONE in my own bed. My bed was made for me, and I have no choice but to lay in it. ..
My deepest fear? BEING ALONE...
They say you have to face your fears some time, I feel like I was forced into this battle with my fears..I wasn't ready to face it yet, but if I wasn't pushed into it..I would have kept avoiding it even if it meant being UNHAPPY all my life.
Waking up alone in bed is my first step..Im facing my fears..Taking it head on...If I do it now, I won't have to spend the rest of my life avoiding this fear...My tactic? ONE DAY AT A TIME.. The words of a famous reggae artist Gregory Isaacs echos in my head, "I'd rather be LONELY than live a DIRTY LIE"..thats what I'm going to do..be lonely...ALONE...(for now that is) until my heart is no longer broken.
Can I just say that I feel exactly the same way?! The part of my day I hate most is retiring to my bed at night. I know it's stupid, but I keep it cluttered with clothes and random things so that it'll take up space on my bed and I won't feel so alone. I hate being alone too. And I hate waking up with no one next to me.
ReplyDeleteBUT just remember, it's better to be alone for a short time, then to spend the rest of our lives unhappy and waking up next to someone we know noting about. Our hearts and our heads will forgive us and thank us for all of it. And most of all, it's hard for us, but some day someone will fill that empty space next to us, and when we wake up, they'll be the first happy face that we get to see for the rest of forever.
And Being alone (aside from being scared of the dark and cockroaches) is one my worst fears. I feel like it's unfair that we were forced into this situation and not given a life jacket or tug boat to help us. Instead, we had to cope with whatever ways we had.
ReplyDeleteI stilll hate being alone, but lets both just keep hoping that it'll pass :) ANd when it does, we'll be grateful that during our alone time, we grew self-reliant and independent :)
This reminds me when I knew I wasn't ready to marry....at first I agreed (out of pressure and fear not wanting to be alone)....and then I woke up the next morning knowing it wasn't time and back to BYU-provo I left that exact night with a lot of mixed emotions. I know it isn't at level of marriage, but I know how it is to feel depressed and alone while all your friends seem to be with someone. I truly know how it feels to be able to only find sleep, by crying your heart out with prayer. HF really listens :)
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