Leaps of Faith

Faith…

I have  grown up a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, yet STILL I am having a hard time grasping it..

As a child attending Primary I learn't the basics of faith:

“Faith is like a little seed, if planted it will grow”

“Faith is knowing the sun will shine, lighting each new day”

“Faith is a hope for things which are not seen”

My life thus far has been one big LEAP OF FAITH

I am often discouraged because I want LOGIC to govern my actions and choices, yet it rarely does. Don’t get me wrong, I use logic to make choices, but after logic and much pondering about my choice, the LEAP OF FAITH part comes in. If you have been reading my blog, you will notice that there is a pattern in my life: 

the emotional roller coaster with my spouse 

                            and 

the spiritual struggle I have with God

I say emotional roller coaster, because my relationship with my spouse has been just that, a roller coaster..one minute we hate each other , the next we don’t. One minute we don’t want to be married the next minute we do.

I say spiritual struggle with God, because my relationship with him has been just that, a struggle.  I am constantly fighting the natural man in me, that part of me that wants to follow my own will and not God’s will for myself. That part of me that says why wait for some miracle when you can just take matters into your own hands? YOU HAVE CONTROL not GOD!

I have spent the last year or so of my life going back and forth between giving in to the Natural man and doing what is right.

I have spent the last year or so of my life HESITATING before each leap of faith that I took.

My trials have led me to confirm (through PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) these two statements to be true:

1.       “We exercise our faith by stepping into the darkness. If we step with faith, surely the light will follow” (LYNN A. MICKELSEN)

2.       “…Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” (Ether 12:6)

I have found that AFTER I stepped into the darkness the light did follow, it was not till after the fact that I understood WHY I was supposed to make that decision.  After I took my LEAP OF FAITH, I witnessed miracles in my life and I say MIRACLE(S) because things have happened that I NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE…NEVER, and the word MIRACLE is the only possible word I can think of when I try to fathom it all.

Moving to Utah was a leap of Faith...I didn't know why I had to leave, but I knew that I had to take that Leap of Faith.

Because of my leaps of faith, my life is beginning to mend again...SLOWLY but SURELY my family is slowly mending together...

Sometimes I feel like allowing my family to get back together is another leap of faith on its own..

I don't know for sure how this round will end, but I am certain of one thing:

I am STILL learning the concept of FAITH, and the only way I can fully grasp it all is by the taking the LEAPS that it requires, 

I have taken another leap and..........so far the FREE FALL has been AWESOME :)